Toxic boss chastises employee for not talking about their personal life, shows up to their new workplace unannounced: 'I think I'm still in shock'

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    Posted by u/AdMysterious 7891 18 hours ago My former, toxic boss showed up at my new workplace today
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    This only just happened within the last hour. I think I'm still in shock. My heart is racing and my hands are shaking, but my mind feels... almost blank? Idk, it's a weird feeling.
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    For backstory: I've been at my current job for a little more than a month. Prior to this, I was working at an incredibly toxic workplace. My boss was the reason I quit that job. He was absolutely awful. He would yell at me in front of my co-workers for For example: the dumbest
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    whenever he and I were both included on an email, I HAD to stop whatever I was doing, go into his office, and let him know he received an email. If I didn't, he would get upset and say that I "needed to come out of my shell more." He also gave me the worst employee reviews I've ever gotten because I didn't talk to him about my personal life
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    enough (he was upset with me once because he found out from someone we were working with that I had an older brother), and he would have my other co- workers "spy" on me by telling him everything I did and said. He would say things to me like, "I want to be your best friend. I want you to trust me." And then
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    he would go and tell my co- workers things like, "[My name] has no idea what she's doing; I'm going to have to have a talk with her." All of this is just the tip of the iceberg.
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    Back in April, I finally reached my breaking point, and I pretty much quit on the spot. I told the HR specialist everything my boss has ever done and said. Then I blocked him and all my co- workers.
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    Fast forward to now. I moved to a new city just an hour away. I got a new apartment, a new job, a great salary, and a boss who actually respects me. Almost two weeks ago, I did see on LinkedIn that my former boss viewed my profile (and yes, I know it was stupid of me to have updated my profile so soon), but all I did was block him and forget about it.
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    Today, I got a call from our receptionist saying that I had a visitor. When I asked her who, she said "Kevin" (fake name of my former boss). I went completely cold. I asked her, "Kevin [boss's last name]?" I could hear her ask him for his last name, and she said "Yes." I told her that there was no way I'd
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    be seeing him or speaking to him, and that he needed to leave right now. I told her that if he refused to call security and escort him out. I could tell that freaked her out, so I tried to explain the situation, though I don't even remember what I said; it felt like I could hear nothing but my own heartbeat.
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    A minute later, she messaged me that he was gone, and that she didn't need to get security involved. But I'm just... I don't know. Like I said, my hands are shaking.
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    My boss is on vacation this week, so I messaged her assistant to call me asap. But I don't even know what to tell her. What the do I do?
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    ConstantMoney7. 17 hr. ago He sounds like he wanted to force a relationship with you and has now escalated to stalking you since he no longer has access to you on a daily basis.
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    Manchadog 16 hr. ago • That was my impression based on the post as well. Yikes. It sounds like he was Ultra-negging OP, then isolating her, then using coworkers to get personal info on her, THEN stalking her to her new place when she quit.
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    QuietLifter 17 hr. ago In addition to all the other advice, immediately write down what happened & ask the receptionist if they would do the same, including a physical description of the person.
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    Contact his direct manager, the next higher level of management, and the HR manager in writing. Tell them exactly what happened & emphasize that you did not extend any invitation. to your former boss to stay in touch and that you find his behavior to be unwanted, inappropriate, threatening, and unacceptable.
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    Request that they have an urgent meeting with him asap where they make it clear that his behavior is unacceptable personal conduct and it needs to stop immediately.
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    I guarantee that he's done the same thing to other former employees. It's only a matter of time until this ends very badly for someone.
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    Prof-Grudge-Holder 17 hr. ago You didn't provide ages but I'm wondering if he was trying to manipulate a younger subordinate into an unwanted physical relationship. His insistence on wanting to know everything about your personal life was the first blazing red flag.

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